The truth is...

I have a love hate relationship with blogging.  As is probably apparently by my scattered posts and various blogs over the years.

I love the idea of the blog.  A place to hold your thoughts.  A place to write and be read.  A place to share your experiences to help others.  It's also a place to hold yourself responsible.  Some of my friends are successful and inspirational bloggers, and my sister, though not a blogger is a beautiful writer.  And every now and then I think, you know what?  I can do this!  I pull up the old blog and I see the last post date.  Wow.  MONTHS ago.  That's rather disappointing and then the onslaught of negative thoughts start.  Why do you think you can do this? You're not consistent.  How hard is it to just post something on a regular basis? You don't even have anything to say.  Stop trying.

So to avoid all of those thoughts I decide to start up a new blog. A clean slate.  And that lasts for all of-- two posts.  I try to make a schedule.  "On Mondays I'm going to talk about restaurants in the area"  "On Saturday I'm going to talk about a craft". Oh. My. God. Why do I do this to myself?  After two posts that match up with my schedule I have nothing to post for a specific day and I get frustrated and I quit.  No wonder. That doesn't sound fun at all!

But no more!

From this point forward I am fully accepting that I am an erratic blogger.  And that's okay.  Some weeks I may have 1 post, some weeks I might have 2.  Then there may be months where I don't post at all.  And that's just how it's going to be.  I will not have a posting schedule.  I will not have a theme.  I will just post what I feel like when I feel like.  

One of the biggest problems I have with bloggers today is that everything is perfect.  They want to have a perfect finished product that they share with the world.  And it's just a little, tiny, shiny peek into their lives.  But who wants that?  I want to read the daily grind.  I want to see the not so pretty parts of life.  I want to see problems that other people are having and how they worked through them- and that might be helpful to me. So guess, what.  That's what I'm going to do.  If people were more open and honest about true daily life- people would be happier.  Just me?  I find it so easy to be so hard on myself when I can't compete with what other people post on facebook or their blog.

One of my friends- she's probably back in one of these older blog posts somewhere... she told me a saying her grandfather told her:

"You can't compare your insides with someone else's outsides."

Woah.  When I heard that I literally stopped.  How often do I do that?  ALL THE TIME.  And why?  What good does it do me?  Well, I tell myself that it gives me a goal.  I can work towards that.  But really it's just a comparison that makes me feel horrible about myself.

Alright. That's it. My cat wants to play.  So I guess this is the end of my new beginning.  See you in a few months when I post something else :)